What should you expect from your community when you tell them about your abusive relationship?
Short version, and also the best you can expect, nothing.
The vast majority of community members will give a half hearted response of pity in your general direction. The community leaders now... they'll be sure you know that they believe survivors and #metoo. Then they will do nothing.
Your abuser wants to come to parties, join private discussion groups, play with leaders and their friends, hunt new victims and hurt more people? Sure. Community leaders will claim impartiality, say they don't want any drama in their group and generally insure your abrupt departure. Your abuser isn't the drama they don't want. You are.
That is the *best* case scenario. If you keep quiet and don't cause too much trouble you'll be accepted. If you speak out? If you tell your side of the story? The vast majority of the time you will be vilified. You are rocking the boat, causing drama, violating confidentiality. You are the criminal for being violated and daring to speak out.
I will not be justifying my claim of abuse. You will either believe me or not. I don't owe you my trauma. You are not the judge and jury of the harm that was caused.
Go ahead and keep that person in your community. I am sure they will show you who they are. And when they do? Please refer to the beginning of this statement.
Love,
Your Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
